Amandla’s journey to finding family and healing again with Zizi her Temporary Safety Parents

17-year-old Amandla has been living with her Temporary Safety Parent (TSP) Zizi and her family for the past five months and has been thriving in this nurturing environment. However, Amandla’s journey to this point has been filled with difficulties. After losing her biological parents and older sister, Amandla found herself in a dysfunctional family setting where she felt unwelcome and unsupported. Zizi decided to go on this journey of being a TSP for her.   

Background 

After her parents’ passing, Amandla and her older sister moved in with their paternal family. Although things were initially good, they became increasingly difficult after her sister’s death. Eventually, Amandla left her paternal family and moved in with her maternal family, which included her aunt, uncle, and cousins. This environment was to be equally challenging. Her cousin, who struggled with drug addiction, frequently stole Amandla’s belongings, and her aunt’s constant stress and frustration made her feel isolated and mistreated. “They always made me feel bad about my sister’s death and told me to just get over it,” Amandla recalls.  

Finding support 

Amandla would always confide in her best friend about the situation at home. “I would always look forward to visiting my friend and her family, I felt so free and welcomed, but would feel so sad every time the schools opened, and I had to go back to my maternal family home”. Her friend’s mother, Zizi, learned about Amandla’s situation and took decisive action to help. “Amandla has always been welcomed in our home. When my daughter told me what she was going through, I knew I had to help,” Zizi explains. After Amandla’s suicide attempt, Zizi took it upon herself to take her in.   

The role of OCOF HHCSA and AFS-K member 

The transition to living with Zizi began during a critical moment in Amandla’s life when she was hospitalised following a suicide attempt. Realising how unhappy Amandla was, Zizi, with the support of her sister Zandile, an AFS-Khusela member, and OCOF HHCSA Social Worker Sipokazi, facilitated Amandla’s move. Her maternal family did not seem to have an issue with her leaving the family. Zizi’s sister Zandile and Sipokazi helped enroll her in a new school and ensured she had the necessary supplies to succeed in her new environment. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without Sipokazi and Zandile. They helped with school enrollment, funds for transport, and school supplies. I am so grateful,” said Zizi.  

Challenges through the process 

One major challenge was convincing Zizi’s husband to take in another child. “My husband had a lot of questions about the process and taking in Amandla. I had to convince him, but we made a mutual decision,” Zizi explains. Another challenge has been trying to obtain a South African Identity document for Amandla, which requires her maternal aunt’s assistance. However, Zandile and Sipokazi will be assisting to ensure that we get an ID document. Also, accessing Amandla’s inheritance for her education requires assistance from her paternal family, so they are currently working through that.  Zizi’s family currently supports Amandla financially as they await the SASSA children’s grant. 

Thriving in the new environment 

Amandla has flourished in her new home. “I am at peace. It doesn’t feel like a new family; it feels like people I’ve known my entire life,” she says. She has adapted well to her new school and environment, and her sense of belonging has been restored. OCOF HHCSA Social Worker, Sipokazi is currently assisting the family with registering Amandla for the SASSA children’s grant and ensuring that she receives a South African Identity document seeing that she will be turning 18 years soon.  

Family reunification with AFS-K and OCOF HHCSA Social Worker 

Despite moving out, Amandla has maintained contact with her paternal and maternal families. OCOF HHCSA Social Worker Sipokazi and AFS-K member Zandile facilitated the reunification process by helping to mend the broken family ties. They organised sessions where both sides of the family could discuss their struggles, the impact of Amandla moving out, and how they can continue to be part of her life. These efforts helped them rebuild a healthy and supportive relationship. “I am happy that I can communicate with my family again. Before, I couldn’t even ask them for anything, so I am relieved,” Amandla shares. Currently, Amandla gets to visit her maternal and paternal family sometimes. And they do come to see her and offer support on things she might need. 

Amandla’s reflections on the TSP process 

Amandla believes the TSP process is invaluable for children from dysfunctional environments, offering them a chance at a better life. “I am grateful to Sipokazi and Zandile for making it possible for me to be part of this new family. The work they did was amazing,” she says. Moving forward, Amandla stated that although she loves and appreciates her maternal and paternal family, she would prefer living with the TSP family forever and for them to adopt her. “I don’t see Zizi as a TSP parent; she’s my mother, and that’s why I call her mama,” Amandla expresses.  

Moving forward 

Raising Amandla feels like raising her own children for Zizi. “She asked how long she would stay with us, and I told her it’s up to her. Having her here has been a blessing. I want her to do well in school and create a life for herself. She’s a focused child, and that’s what I love about her,” Zizi concludes. 

 *All the names are changed to protect identity